Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Real Me

Over the past 3-4 years, I have traveled with a series of events that have altered my life so prophetically that I can hardly put into words.  But, with all said and done, I can say I am a better man for it all.  Let's put it in short, easy-to-understand, chronological terms:

Got a new job in the private sector.
Moved out of DC with the love of my life.
Hated the new job in the private sector.
Missed my friends in DC.
My music style got severely crimpt.
End my relationship (no love there!).
Got a hugantic house in Maryland to prove I didn't need love to be happy.
I wasn't happy.
I met some cool friends.
I got a new job back in the public sector.
I started learning things that had been happening behind my back over the last couple years that blew my mind. (GAWD was I blind. Trust your instincts folks.)
I went to massage school to follow a personal goal I had.
I met some awesome, life-long friends.
I learned how to relax.
I relaxed.
My job got stressful - the people fought with each other, and I got blamed for just being in the room.
I continued to relax.
I graduated massage school and got licensed.
I stopped relaxing.
I met someone.
I got much less relaxed.
I opened up more to my brothers. 
I relaxed a little.
I moved back to DC - relaxation went OUT the DOOR.
My job, as much as I love the work, became more babysitting hostile behavior than actual work.
I fell in love with DC again.
I had a nasty confrontation with my aunt.  Apparently, my communication to her was too positive to believe.
I got more stressed.
I reconnected with my DC friends.
I was yelled at and called mean things by my client (not the first time, but the first time with curse words).
My team's week-long efforts were summarily dismissed and I was disrespected by a wave of hand.
I walked out saying only that "I dealt with more disrespect in the last 24 hours than the last 15 years of my career. I had had enough.
I had the first full-night's sleep in over 4 years.
I am relaxed.

So, my pets, there are a lot of sentences (all?) starting with I and My up above, but I will admit that I have come to one conclusion, as self-focused as it sounds.  I have good, proved skills that can be appreciated in many capacities.  I have made new, honest, and true friends over the last few years that would (I believe) be there if I ever need them (as would I for them).  I have found it difficult, but imperative that I keep an optimistic view of my goals and future.  I feel in my bones that there is something great to be accomplished - if not by me, something that I can help to accomplish.  I'm at a place in my life where I can be complacent and settle for the side of the road, or continue onward and see what's around the bend.  I want to know what's ahead, my friends, and I think now's the time to build a fence to what's behind me and move on.

I love you all! Much peace of the road ahead!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Walking to School Barefoot... In the Snow

Recently I have been acutely aware of the giant leaps society has made in technology and the changes it has brought, even in my lifetime. This morning, as I was waiting on the train, a guy walks by with his mobile phone held up to his shoulder, blasting some incomprehensible rap song as loud as the straining speaker could blare it. After he walked by, I had to chuckle a bit. I remember in my early years walking by guys on the street that would carry these ENORMOUS "boom boxes" on their shoulders. Back then, it was almost a fashion accessory - you always had it around just in case you wanted to spontaneously break out in a breakdance routine.

Even the cellular phone is an advance beyond compare. Why, back when I was a young lad, telephones still had cords attaching them to their receivers. Even in the 80s the cellular phone was SO large it could double as a formidable bludgeoning device. My, how far we've come.

Granted, things haven't just become smaller -- like TV sets and cars. Some things have appeared that were never there before - like remote controls and laptop computers.

Now THERE is a dichotomy. One thing to make our lives lazier and more fat-ass, and another to make it more complicated and stressful.

Back in my very first job, I resisted getting a laptop like the plague. I felt (and still do) that work should stay at work, and home should stay at home. There really wasn't anything I needed from that laptop once I left work. But there you have it.. A culture built around work 'til you drop, and then take it home with you so you can plop on the sofa and eat your Ben & Jerry's and watch Dynasty and listen to your waistline expand. That is why someone had to invent the remote control, which led to offering 3,000 channels to surf through. Back in the day, we had 4 channels - ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS. And when it comes right down to it, we hardly watched TV!

But, friends, here we are - lazy, overworked and over-communicated. A trait we Americans brought on ourselves. Now we have a whole "diet pill" industry out there catering to the lazy folks who don't/can't get up to work off that extra helping of cheese doodles. "Hook this electrode to your (flabby) stomach and watch abs appear in days!" I'm here to tell you, all that does is make you blubber jiggle - just saying. BUT people buy it.

I guess my (guilty) point behind all this is to ask, how much better off are we with these personal luxuries? We've improved the efficiency of autos, yet we move even further away from our jobs, only to request that we be granted "telework" capabilities so we can stay at home and surf the web and learn how to become even more antisocial. We can file through Facebook and Twitter as our communication substitute and never need to see another person again. Let's get married by text message or FaceTime. Pretty soon we won't know whether it's Spring or Fall and will need to rely on the Weather Channel app to tell us.

Yes, my pets, life was much better when I walked to school barefoot in the snow.







Monday, May 9, 2011

Vegas Trip (Day 3): The brave, the proud,...

Well, my pets, the third and last full day of Vegas had two planned highlights that we were all excited about. The day started with a limo ride to Pappillon Adventures at the Vegas airport. Colleen had bought me a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon for my birthday, and we rose at the buttcrack of dawn (early in Vegas standards anyway) to catch the limo and make our way to the helipad.

Our adventure began when we got to the helicopter and saw that the six of us had to squeeze our adult frames into tiny seats that most children would find a tight fit. It was more evident when the Pappillon staff pushed up behind us with a giant shoe horn. Let's just say we got intimate! Once inside, we all prayed the door would close and not pop open from the strain halfway through the flight. BUT, we were in and up in no time.

The tour was to take us over the Hoover Dam, land on the floor of the canyon, have a champaign lunch, and fly back by way of the Vegas strip. The fly over of the Hoover Dam was spectacular — much more so that I expected. We flew by the "sky bridge" which we later learned was actually owned by Chinese businessmen, and, frankly was a racket. We got the much better view, pictures and overall experience for roughly the same price, thanks to Colleen's savvy skills.

We landed on a small overlook in a crook in the Colorado river at the base of the canyon, had lunch and flew back up for a refuel before a spectacular flyover of the Vegas miracle mile. All joking about the tight fit aside, it was a great trip!

That night I had finagled us a table in Aureole restaurant — a Charlie Palmer deal with a(n) (in)famous 4-story wine tower in the center. The tower was encased in glass and surrounded by a system of pulleys and cables from which these women, clothed in black would "zip" to your wine selection and retrieve it for your table. Now, the advertising called the, Wine Angels and led you to believe that these supermodels in skin-tight leotards would be flitting up to your bottle and whisking it to your table. Well 1) the wine tower on included "young" red wines and 2)the wine angels were easily all matronly (to say the least) and were (thankfully) dressed in baggy pants and shirts. The meal, though, was exquisite (despite the rather awkward digital wine list, provided on a tablet PC). I just wish I weren't so tired when we sat down to eat...I faded quickly.

All in all, it was good to see my Aussie buds and spend some time with Colleen. Next time, though, I pick the location :-)




Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Vegas Trip (Day 2): Uncle Sam's Australian Vacation

So day 2 turned out to be less eventful in the morning (translation: no one was cavity-searched) and we had the opportunity to relax and have some "vacation time." Colleen and I went to Café Bellagio for breakfast, which to date had been a staple for every trip to Vegas. But, this time I noticed some changes. The miracle mile as a whole had undergone some basic changes, I thought. Despite the ever-changing landscape and the constant renovations, the Vegas strip looked a wee bit, well, worse for the wear. I don't ever recall thinking Vegas looked a little neglected, but for whatever host of reasons, it did.

Around 11, Colleen decided it was late enough for a libation, so we relaxed outside at the Mirage in the Rhumbar. Needless to say we spent the afternoon sampling their specialties!

That evening we ate at Olives in hopes to catch the water canon show from the patio at the Bellagio. After freezing our assets off through a comparatively good meal, we found out they canceled the show due to wind. We quickly exited...

Then Rob, Paul and I had tickets for Zumanity, so we headed over to New York, New York to relax a bit before the late show.

I went to the rest room, only to return from my winkie tinkie to blaring bells and flashing strobes. Paul had won the 1¢ slot jackpot —$5000.

The hotel pit boss took enough time to get the dough back to Paul, only to find out that foreigners had to give up tax on the winnings immediately. So, Paul only got a little over 3k ( get that, ONLY). Those two are the luckiest guys I think I've ever met.



Thursday, April 28, 2011

Vegas Trip (Day1): That Pork is NOT Pulled!

So here we are, my pets, sitting in the airport, ready for my journey to Vegas with Colleen and the boys. It's been a while since I have flown, actually. My most recent time was spent finishing up my last "project," and travel was largely out of he question.

Anywho, Colleen was set to leave from Dulles on a direct flight, and I was set to fly out of BWI. Paul and Rob were flying in from LA yesterday after their (get this) pre-hiatus diversion in Cabo. (Must be freakin' nice.)

So today as I ventured back into flying and did a little people watching, I soon realized that when people switch into travel mode, they turn into something different — a sort of travel doppleganger that really doesn't reflect who that person is. I'm guilty, of course, with my bespoke sport shirt and fashion, all-white sunglasses (worn indoors, of course). I'm sporting my mechanical Armani watch (I NEVER wear watches), and have unbuttoned my second button on my shirt — sassy just doesn't describe. But I digress...

I look around at the 50-year-old, over-tanned grandpa wearing Hollister clothes, and notice that even the sleeping tree hugger splay out on the bench has switched out her Birkenstocks for a sporty pair of Pumas. It was only the beginning, I guessed.

By the time I got to BWI, I learned that Colleen had been "detained" by TSA and delivered to the Police (as I understood it). Yes, the fun had begun, it seems. It appears even her doppleganger had reared its ugly head. I couldn't get all the details, but I'm sure it is worth the wait until I make it to Vegas.

Anyway, I made it to my connection in Charlotte with a little time to spare, and I thought, "how could I be in NC at lunchtime, and not get a NC BBQ sandwich??" (It is, after all, my favorite food...EVER.) My home state has changed so much since my childhood, but I could always count on good ol' NC BBQ pork. So, I stood in line at Siler City BBQ, and salivated my turn.

NC BBQ, you see, (to be authentic) must have the following qualities:

1) It must be CHOPPED (not pulled or sliced)
2) It must be pork
3) It must be served in a vinegar-based sauce, not a sweet sauce - we are NOT in Tennessee.
4) It is, by default, served with coleslaw, heavy on the mayo
5) To be TRULY authentic, it must include a type of cornbread that most of the country refers to as "hushpuppies," but in Eastern NC, true swampland natives call it "corn dodgers," and the cornmeal will include onions.

All of the above was present, except for #1 and #3 — the two most important. The mofos had the audacity to serve it pulled and with a sweet ketchup-like sauce. I actually complained to the manager, who happened to be the owner. He was a yankee. (I think he actually HEARD my eyes roll.) Yet again, a doppleganger on a trip away from home, trying to be someone he wasn't. I just sighed and moved on to gate B3. It just wasn't worth the effort.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Watch that first step, it's a doosey!

Well, my pets — it has been a long 4-ish years since my departure from the District, and a huge amount of "stuff" has occurred. Back in early 2007, I took a long, hard look at my life and started a critical analysis of my life's direction. I had a decent job, I had a home in a great location, I had some money saved up and invested, I had friends who were close to me, and I had a slow, but steady love life. But, something was gnawing at me, and inwardly, I was a bitter, challenged 30-something that had no real place to go. I was, in a word, stagnant.

For those of you that know me, stagnant is not the word most folks would use to describe me. Outwardly, I was restless, motivated and driven, but inwardly I was lonely, frustrated and quick to judge. I knew something needed to change, I just wasn't sure what.

What I did know was that some of the mundane things about DC life were driving me to insanity, and I longed for some space to spread my wings. The things I loved about DC were becoming outweighed by the few things I hated. I couldn't see the forest for the trees, and my frustration was turning me into a rather mean person.

In October of that year, I started working with a personal trainer and turning my physical life around. I met someone who distracted me from DC and introduced me to the possibility of a life away from what I felt was making me the mean person I was becoming. With a new body and a renewed sense of self, I went out of my comfort zone and gave up my home, friends and social circle in DC and moved to Maryland. I put my trust and money into a life I hoped would last, despite all the signs and friends who told me it wouldn't (stubbornness is a trait). Two years later, it all ended - and with a great deal of bitterness on many fronts. I had emptied my savings while living a lie of happiness that I refused to admit, and I hated myself for it. At the end of that whole episode, I had no one to blame but myself. But, if there was anything I could learn from this experience was how to take a giant leap of faith — a giant first step of trust, hoping that the ground was solid when I landed. I also learned what to do when the ground wasn't as solid as I thought...

Anyway, I still wasn't going to give up on the dreams I had left, and with no money to go back to DC, I took another blind step and bought a house in Maryland. This new adventure would afford me the opportunity to start my music studio and other goals I had for myself. At that time, though, I had gained significant weight, and was feeling mentally and physically defeated. I needed something to focus my attention.

So, I turned to my life-long passion to start my own business. I had always wanted to start a wellness center and wanted to start training myself, first, to see if that field was really what I wanted to do. At a minimum, I would learn a trade that I could fall back on if things got dicey. I started massage therapy school.

That was a year ago, and I have to say it has been one long and stressful year. A full-time job, a commute, and full-time school has been very tough. But in two days I graduate, and I plan to celebrate — not at the graduation ceremony, but with a drink and dinner with two people who have supported me through this process.

A couple months ago, I was introduced to the possibility of franchising a business. I would almost instantly be able to meet my ambitious goal of owning my business. But the more I thought about it, and the more they told me the financial requirements, I'm not sure it is right for me. I would lose my identity, and take another leap of faith that, like the others, would strip me of what makes me, me.

The best thing for me, now, is to refocus. I have taken enough blind steps. What would make me happy? What would help me re-establish myself financially? Do I want instant gratification or long-term stability? My next step, my friends, might appear drastic, but I guarantee you it will not be a doosey.





Sunday, January 23, 2011

All-time Favorite "Popular" Music

Greetings, pets.  My ability to stay on task and write these blog posts have clearly been a challenge for me.  But, here I am, making my appearance in an attempt to get back on track.

Everyone is very aware of my very ecclectic tastes in music - with the exception of some hard-core country and hard-core rap music, I can find music in almost any genre that I can appreciate.  A friend at massage school the other day asked me if I had to name my top ten favorite songs, what would they be.  That, frankly, was an evil, sadistic question.  But, I set out on the task to determine what my favorite "popular" music would be.  I have to set "popular" aside from "traditional/classical" music since that list is just as long and just as difficult to put together (perhaps, I'll put that one together, too). 

So, that said, here's my list - although admittedly it's more than 10 songs! And I've included the artist from whom I like their version of the song (in some cases, there are more than artist that's recorded the song).  There is no particular order to these.  Where I could, I've put a link to the youtube video of it:

Aretha Franklin, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - a VERY young Aretha. Click here

Black Eyed Peas, "Shut Up" Click here

Bon Jovi, "Prayer 94" Click here

Boston, "To Be a Man" Click here

Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton, "When I Get Where I'm Going" Click here

Carole King, "A Natural Woman" Click Here

Chicago, "Saturday In the Park" Click Here

David Bowie, "Space Oddity" Click Here

David Bowie & Nine Inch Nails, "I'm Afraid of Americans" Click Here

Electric Light Orchestra (ELO), "I'm Alive" Click Here

Eryka Badu, "Didn't Cha Know" Click Here

George Clinton and the Paliament Funkadelics, "Flashlight" Click Here

Godhead, "Eleanor Rigby" Click Here

Human League, "Together in Electric Dreams" Click Here

Petra Haden, "Let Your Love Flow" Click here

*Irene Cara, "Out Here on My Own" Click here

Naturi Naughton, "Out Here on My Own" Click here

Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole, "Somwhere Over the Rainbow" Click here

Jamiroquai, "Virtual Insanity" Click here

Jane Siberry, "It Can't Rain All the Time" Click here

Janet Jackson, "You Ain't Right" Click Here

Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson, "Scream" Click here

Janis Joplin, "Piece of My Heart" Click here

Joan Jett, "Bad Reputation" Click here

kd Lang, "Summerfling" Click here

kd Lang, "Barefoot" Click here

Lene Lovich, "Lucky Number" Click here

Marilyn Manson, "Tainted Love" Click here

The Ours, "Mercy" Click here

Porcupine Tree, "Sentimental" Click here

Prince, "When Doves Cry" Click here  (No bass guitar!)

Queen (with David Bowie), "Under Pressure" Click here

Revolting Cocks, "Do Ya' Think I'm Sexy" Click here (weird Belgians, and the video is stupid, but good music)

Sade, "Smooth Operator" Click here

Sly and the Family Stone, "If you want me to stay" Click here

Styxx, "Boat on the River" Click here

The Beatles, "Hey Jude" Click here

The Black Crowes, "Hard to Handle" Click Here