The Perfect Match

So, I finally ventured on an "official" date last night after a very long hiatus (nearly a year) from any such social interaction. On the positive side, I enjoyed meeting someone new. On the negative side, it causes you to be very self-consious. I have no trouble being me, but then I have to concern myself with how others like me being me. It's a slippery game to play, and at my age, I'm becoming less concerned, which probably isn't a good thing.

As for the date itself, I had a good dinner and I dragged us to see Sharón Clarke do her saltry Jazz thing on the DC waterfront. I left happy, if only just watching the Jazz. I'm a pretty poor judge as to whether the date went great or not since dates I've gone on in the past ended well, in my mind, only to be told 24 hours later that they weren't interested. We'll see how this one goes.

The bottom line for me is that for all my faults (of which I am well-aware!) I just want someone to come home to and share my life with. Too many times I've dated people and been in relationships with those that have their own agenda, for which I am not a part. I know I've been used, and I know I've let myself be used. BUT - I think I've worked out the formula. The challenge is to recognize the equation when it presents itself. But people put so many restrictions on what they like, and I just don't have the mental capacity to keep it all straight...they want a certain hair/eye color, height, body weight, job, social circle, etc. Too much to consider! I don't think about those things as how they relate to me, so when they're suddenly thrown on me, I tend to start being very self-aware, which I tend not to be, usually.

That said, as decisive as I am, and as direct as my personality is, I have a challenge reading the thoughts from the other side of the fence, or even when the fence gate is opened. The bottom line is that I'm just not good at this dating thing. I tend to be much more Euro-minded about "dating" (which is really done mostly in contenintal Europe)... I like going out and meeting people. When you meet the right "one," you'll know it and it will develop. It's much more social. For them, there's no formal process. Our culture makes a structured process out of it, and, frankly, I enjoy parts of our process, but can't be bothered with most of it. [Rant ends here]

So, the question everyone wants to know... will there be another date? Ask me 20 lbs from now.