Blabber mouth

So, as a very loose follow-up to my earlier note, 'You Have Got to be Joking...,' I felt compelled to tell a story. Numbers 10 and 11 in that note were the result of an incident I had on MARC (a DC commuter train). During rush hour that train line is packed tighter than a Labor Day shoe sale at Macy's and you can't be choosy with seats. I ended up next to a pair of ladies, clearly federal employees who were already entrenched in conversation.


Admittedly, one of the ladies felt compelled to keep her voice hushed and limit her end of the conversation to less-that-five-word comments. (And we appreciate her for that!)


But no... her friend, with one of those annoying, shrill voices that always sounds like she's complaining (even if she isn't), proceeded to give a tell-all of every possible topic that entered her cranial lobes and spewed it forth in one, loud stream of unbearable consciousness.


Being the ever-attentive observer I am, I grabbed my trusty phone and hastily typed a recount of her monologue. Below are my notes... direct from that Horse's mouth. Since she felt it necessary that our whole train car know the topic of conversation, I figured it must be important enough to share with all of you on facebook! Here goes (my personal comments in parentheses):


She has 2 children.

She works in a cubical.

She recently had a prank pulled on her where her work phone was encased in rubber bands. (this is our tax dollars at work, folks!)

She segments her friends into three distinct groups: mothers, friends from college, and friends of her husband. (so sad)

She is pregnant and leaving work on maternity leave in a week. (I didn't notice!)

She had Thanksgiving at home only with her own family because her dining room only seats 15 people. (ONLY!)

Her husband's family is all from Maryland.

She recently had a mysterious set of wires left on her desk at work. (I believe is was a hint to wire her trap shut!)

Her coworker recently wore a pirate costume to work (odd for January?) that included a foam gun that got thru security. (Well, Duh! Foam!)

A guy rushed the security in her building (I thought you only rushed sororities??)

When her building has bomb threats, they put multiple babies in a crib and wheel them out together. (Interesting, but I still didn't give a sh*t.)

She works in the Marshall Judicial Building (so?)

The ID checks in her building's security require them to view and TOUCH the ids! (ew! But I still don't give a sh*t)

She is always stopped at security because she has metal tipped heels (HELLO! Pregnant!)

----

This went on for half an hour. I nearly ran over people trying to get off that train.