Your Own Personal Jesus

Well, on the heels of my last socially charged blog entry, I figured it best to lighten the mood to discuss your own personal Jesus. No, dearies, we're not speaking about the Depeche Mode song of the same name, nor are we actually discussing Yahweh, Jehovah or the Jesus Christ himself. No, my pets, we are here to discuss me and the story of my immaculate conception.

Once upon a time in a college far, far away (aka Chapel Hill) my parents came to visit me and my roommate in order to bring some furniture for our new apartment. My roommate took to my mother immediately, and sat out on the deck hackling like to old Southern hens most of the afternoon. Meanwhile my father and I assembled the furniture. At some point my mother and roommate emerged from the deck announced it was time for my parents to leave. We said our goodbyes, and my roommate actually looked sad, torn even, to see my mother go.

Later that night we were arranging furniture, and my roommate blurted out, "I never knew you were a surprise." Taken aback, I asked what was meant.

"Well your mom just told me how they had planned your brothers out to the month, but you were so much a surprise, that you father questioned how you were conceived."

Dumbstruck, I played it off. "Oh THAT! Yeah..

Internally, though, I was flabbergasted. Not only did I not know the story, I was sort of shocked my mother would tell my roommate she had just met for the first time, but has never told me!

I went to my mother that night on the phone to query her. It turned out she hadn't revealed the entire story! It appears that my parents had both had their respective parts "tied" after my brother, and only planned to have two children. Then, four years later... Surprise! I rear my bald little head. It caused some great deal of internal turmoil, with lots and lots of speculation about what really happened. I understood there were lots of extended family "discussions" about it, too.

But here I am, miraculously conceived, borne to parents who were clearly mine (I look like a hybrid between them). My childhood doctor often called me the miracle boy when he'd see my mother and me in town. I like to think I have a strong will to live, right from the beginning, and will live up to that motto to the day I die.